{Post Disclaimer: This is me just rambling about my latest thoughts and challenges on being a mama . . .}My mom said it perfectly the other day when she said that being a grandma is so much easier than being a mom. She watches Nate for me on Tuesdays while I go in to the office and she's almost always able to drop everything she has to do for that one day a week to devote it to him. She plays with him and teaches him new things ALL day. I swear he's always smarter after he's spent a day with grandma. But she doesn't worry about cleaning her house. She doesn't worry about cooking dinner that day. She doesn't worry about errands. She focuses on NATE. She said she was rarely able to do that as a mom because there are so many other things to do . . .
That got me thinking. Do I do enough with Nate? This stay-at-home-working-mom thing is tricky sometimes. I'm finding it hard to have a good balance of a). being a mama. Spending quality time teaching, playing & loving Nate. While still being able to b). Maintain a home. Cook dinner (or at least have food ready for Wes to cook :). and c). work from home. Lately I feel like I'm always feeling guilty if I neglect a). b) or c).
That leads me to think . . . how much is enough? I am of the mindset that kiddos need a good balance of having mom to play with and teach them but also being able to play and imagine on their own. But where is the balance? I struggle with that sometimes. Like, did I pay enough attention to Nate today or did I let cleaning the kitchen take precendence? I don't really have a choice with work . . . sometimes he just has to play on his own now that he's decided he's a one short nap a day, child. But I still wonder daily if I'm doing enough as I try to fill roles of mom/wife/homemaker/employee.
I think this mindset has stemmed from Nate going from 2 great naps a day to one not so good nap. I have less time without him to get other things done and I'm struggling with finding a good balance. I'll take any tips or thoughts you want to share!
10 comments:
I feel like this ALL the time! It's hard trying to juggle everything. My girls play really well together so I'll spend time cleanig, laundry, cooking, etc. But then sometimes I feel SO guilty that I'M not spending enought time with them. I agree with what you said about learning to play by themselves, being creative and using imagination play.
What I have been trying to do is picking a particular day just for Laundry or cleaning. And when the house needs some picking up I do that during naptime.
You're a Great Mom! Keep it up!
I just know that I have never wished that I spent less time with my kids. It is always a challenge! I think you are doing a super job!
Love,
MOM G
My first thought when reading this is it might just be ENOUGH for you to even ask the question and acknowledge the need for balance.
I don't know that you will ever be able to feel completely fulfilled that you have done ALL you can in all realms of life. I think we do the best we can with what is staring us in the face, and just around the corner.... it varies from day to day.
I do know that Nate is a freaking adorable, well adjusted, socially superior little lamb and I can only blame YOU for that. (maybe Wes a little too)
Working from home with a one not so great nap a day child is something I don't wish on anyone. I think you are probably feeling torn on such a dramatic scale because you literally have all parts of existence tugging on you all day long.
Should I have e.mailed? Probably, I think I will.
KNOW THIS----You are a gem of a mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, employee, home manager. NO ONE questions that.
Oh Linds...seems as though you've struck a motherly chord. I don't know a mom out there doesn't struggle with this dilemma...even us full time stay-at-home moms. I have found it gets a bit tricky having more than one because you feel guilt over "equally" spending time with everyone.
I don't know if there is a answer other than...if you know in your heart you are doing the best possible...you're usually really doing even better than that!
I do know one thing...I can't wait to be a grandma.....oh wait...yes I can!haha
I do feel like this, too! And I dont even have to go into an office for work. I think that we just have to all remember that we are doing our best. Some days we will be better moms than others. Some days we will need more time for ourselves. Jared is really good about letting me get out for some girl time (a lot actually). You are doing great. Your little Nate adores you. Satan loves for us to feel inadequate so just keep up your positive attitude. I am rambling now.
Linds,
I feel the same way. There's a lot to juggle in life. I try to have at least one day a week where Ben and I go do something really fun...children's museum, swimming, park, lunch, whatever. It's hard working and being mommy too. I try to have a somewhat clean house, but I've been told, "your kids grow up so fast." So most of the time I just try and tell myself that the dishes can wait.
Nate's lucky to have you! You're fabulous!
This amazing post could have been an article in a parenting magazine! I of course have had those same feelings. I was suprised how it was hard for me to go from spending ALL my time with just Riley and now I have to divide my time (well, I think Ridge takes quite a bit of my time at this point). I can definitely say that I wonder what is enough a lot also!!
Lindz - If I can just say, I am constantly amazed by all you do for your family, for your work, for church, for your home, everything. And the fact that you are questioning it shows that you are that much better because you are always trying to improve. Once again, in awe.
And if you get any good ideas of how to do more (as I sit hear typing as claire screams from her crib, trying NOT to take a nap yet once again), let me know! :)
What a great post...I know that most if not all of us can relate!
well I don't have any good advise, but I will say, I FEEL THE SAME! I know I am doing the best I can, but sometimes I feel like I am falling short in some or all of my responsiblities!!
I guess we just keep treking and things will work out! :)
Being a mom is one tuff job!
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