It’s amazing what happens when there are older siblings around! For at least 6 months now – Ryan has been obsessed with the toilet. Not necessarily to actually pee on the potty [although he has done that a few times] – but just to be like his big brother.
Sorry Ryan – there isn’t any potty training going on in this house for a while! But I’m glad you think it’s fun to pee on the potty.
We woke up on Saturday to a bright blue sky & sunshine so we decided to spend the majority of the day outside as a family and it was great! We had a quick breakfast around the corner at The Cracked Egg and then came back to work & play in the yard. Our yard desperately needed our attention – there were leaves everywhere from falling off the trees and we had a ton of weeds in the backyard. The kids had a great time helping and just playing in our fabulous 63 degree weather.
We’ve been in our house 2 years now [which is crazy!] and we’ve never heated the hot tub. So we decided to give it a try and it turned out to be a blast! When Ryan woke up from his nap we all threw on our swimsuits and did a little swimming in January. Nate jumped in like a little fish and Ryan was perfectly content standing on the step playing with a ball.
In the next few weeks Wes is doing a lot of traveling and I’m doing a little myself so it was nice to have a fun, yet productive, Saturday together!
My parents gave this book to all of their kids this year for Christmas – 365 Thank Yous. I just finished reading it and I really enjoyed it! It’s about a man whose life was in the dumps. After a moment on a mountain & a note in the mail . . . he was inspired to start writing thank you notes - 365 to be exact. This act of acknowledging people in his life and good things in his life caused him to become grateful for the things he did have and in the end, changed everything for him. Plus, I’m a huge fan of hand-written notes. Receiving a piece of actual mail will always be better than an email or text!
I love book recommendations so here are a few of my other favorites off-the-top-of-my-head:
I particularly love all of Sarah Addison Allen’s books.
Yep, my pops is officially a member of the Henderson City Council & I’m proud of him.
My dad and I started working together when he opened Marz & Company almost 7 years ago. I’ve really gotten to see different sides of my dad in those 7 years and one of the things I learned is that there’s always been a part of him that wants to be involved in politics. He was planning to run for the Henderson City Council in a few years but then Councilwoman Vermillion resigned & there was an empty seat and he decided he wanted to try for it. Instead of spending the money to hold an election they decided to appoint someone to the position & out of 12 candidates – they chose my dad. And they made a great decision! He’ll be a great asset to our city for the next year and a half. Good job, dad!
http://www.lvrj.com/news/businessman-to-replace-henderson-councilwoman-137941283.html
My friend Leah posted this on her blog last week. I read it on yet another one of those days when I was ready to pull my hair out and it made me smile. But before you get to read that – you get to hear me briefly vent.
Like this gal, I am told almost every time I’m out with the kids to “cherish every moment” or “these are the best years, hunny.” And most of the time they are probably surprised by the look on my face like “really? The tantrums, irrational behavior & being hit in the face by a 1-year old are going to be the best moments? That I’m supposed to ENJOY having to leave the entire church building because my 1-year old was screaming so loud for so long that we couldn’t even stay inside?” I’m a fan of telling it like it is sometimes. And the reality is that Ryan is driving me [and Wes] absolutely bonkers! The terrible two’s have hit and we’re in TROUBLE. I don’t have a clue what to do with him. And these two boys of mine fight constantly & it’s all going to put me over the edge. Of course I love my kids and there are Kairos moments [read story below] every single day that make me smile and I am reminded of how lucky I am to be the mom of these two little [and deep down, wonderful] boys of mine. But holy smokes they are taking their mom and dad on a rollercoaster ride of parenting!
So when I read this on Leah’s blog – it was great to hear that yes . . . there are wonderful moments with the little kiddos every single day but it’s also HARD. And I can feel so incredibly grateful to be the mom of two healthy boys and countdown the hours to bedtime all in the same minute and that’s okay, too.
It’s a little long but worth the read for any mama. Enjoy!
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By Glennon Milton
Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness,be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."
Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here's what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.
Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.
Good enough for me.
to the beginning of December when we had Griffeth visitors!
Wes’ family lives far away from us [Texas, Georgia & Alabama] so we love it when we get to see them.
Grant and Alyssa [the Texas family] came to Vegas in December. Grant earned a trip through his work and we were lucky that the destination was our town. They came to dinner at our house on Sunday night and the boys loved having them. Nate put on all of his charm and wanted to show Alyssa absolutely everything. And Grant got to join in some boy fun and play a little basketball. It was great to see you, Grant & Alyssa!
We met them at The Burger Bar on Monday night for dinner before they got to see The Lion King. We love seeing Wes’ family!
We recently attended my Grandma Florence Christensen’s funeral in Salt Lake City. She passed away on December 29th at the age of 94. She lived a wonderful life filled with grace & courage. I know she is in a great place surrounded by her parents, siblings & husbands. With her passing, I am extremely grateful for the plan of salvation – I know I’ll see her again and that is a peaceful feeling.
One of the most fascinating parts of her life to me is her time spent in England during WWII. That is where she met the first love of her life – William Goeglein. She had a love for our country and wanted to serve. These are two of my favorite pictures of my Grandma. Until her funeral, I don’t recall anyone ever telling me I look like her. But as these pictures were circulating I had countless people come up to me at the funeral to tell me just that . . . “you look a lot like Florence.”
The day of her funeral was a wonderful day to celebrate and honor her life. Wes was great and took the kids a few hours before the funeral and a few hours after everything was over so I could spend some time with my aunts, uncles & cousins and to be able to help a little bit. I really enjoy my mom’s family and it was nice to be able to enjoy them that day. That’s one thing a funeral does – it brings people together which is always nice.
The actual funeral service was wonderful. My mom and my Aunt Linda spoke and did a wonderful job & Sam spoke on behalf of all of the grandchildren and was perfect. My Uncle Bill and Aunt Michelle sang and cousin Guthrie played the guitar. I was able to say the opening prayer. My dad said the family prayer and dedicated the grave. All to honor my sweet Grandma Flo.
My grandma had a beautiful singing voice. My mom’s side of the family loves music & are well-known for spontaneously breaking out in song. While we were at the grave site waiting for the bishop to arrive, my aunts and uncles started singing Edelweiss – a favorite. I’m sure grandma smiled at that one.
I have many fond memories of going to Salt Lake at least twice a year growing up to see my grandparents and family. I spent a lot of that time at my Grandma’s house and loved it. She was great. I think Sam’s talk pretty much says it all so here it is:
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Grandma wasn’t an ordinary grandma, she was anything but ordinary. Grandma has qualities innately about her that people spend their lifetimes trying to gain. Ali says, “Grandma was like a star of a classic movie to me. With looks like Grace Kelly and style like Katherine Hepburn and the voice and kindness of Doris Day.” The words her grandchildren would use to describe her are kind, graceful, poised, giving, classy, insightful, talented, courageous, unselfish, soft, genuine, and loving.
There was never any doubt in any of our minds that grandma loved her family, and her grandchildren. Elizabeth says, “Florence was the quintessential grandmother. She was devoted and always there for all of her grandchildren. She always had pictures and accolades up on the refrigerator so all of her visitors could see what was going on in everybody's lives. She made time for all of us and her house was a welcome home for everyone. Family was her priority.”
Guthrie says, “She always seemed to have great pride and genuine interest in what her family was doing in life.”
Even when Lexy would go to her house and clean for her, grandma would just follow her around the entire time talking to her. She took every opportunity she had to talk to her grandchildren. Grandma always wanted an update on our lives. She always asked us questions about what we were up to and what we thought the future would bring for us.
Grandma had a way of making each of us feel special.
We all have fond memories of our time with grandma. Growing up Grandma and Grandpa’s home was the place where our family would gather. She would let us kids run around her house, play pool in the basement, fold each other up in the red foam couch, take over the tv to play super Nintendo, play her piano, watch movies with her, but I think she especially loved when she would get to sit down at her kitchen table and talk with each of us. Every time one of us would visit, she would incessantly offer up food and snacks, no matter how many times you told her you weren’t hungry. Lindsay, remembers loving the candy jar she had in her kitchen, full of peppermints and butterscotch candies. And grandma always had better cereal than we had at our house.
Her garden was magical to us, one that you read about in books. I still remember all of her beautiful flowers, the grapes that grew on the side of her house, and playing in the yard as small children. Grandma had a way of making everything she touched beautiful.
Grandma loved to read, even well into her 90’s, and could still devour books at an impressive pace. She loved to tell us about the new books she was reading, she was always so insightful. Grandma also loved old movies, loved Jane Austen, and always had the grace and poise you find in those classic stories. I loved that Grandma wanted to share the things that she loved with us.
Grandma had an active social life, one that rivaled those of her grandchildren. She was always telling us stories of her friends, her social outings, playing bridge, and visits to the country club. She loved the arts, and was always attending the ballet. We loved that she was willing to share those parts of her life with us. We loved that grandma included her family in she and Grandpa’s many trips to see the Nutcracker, and that she had a strong desire to share that legacy with us. Any time you mentioned to grandma that you wanted to see the nutcracker, she would take you. She loved talking afterwards about the production, the music, and the dancers. And each time it was as magical as the time before.
Grandma was a lover of music. Grandma had a beautiful singing voice. My fondest memories are of our family gathered around the piano in her living room singing Christmas songs and show tunes together after our family dinners. It is probably the thing I will miss most. Sometimes she would join in, and sometimes she would sit back and watch and listen to her family. A love of music is a legacy of Grandma’s that we will all carry on.
Megan says, “I think the thing that I admired most was that she was such a lady. In her dress, appearance, manners, and attitude. She was just so classy!” Lindsay and I loved snooping around Grandma’s room. She had the best clothes, lots of shoes, and we loved going into her bathroom and admiring her makeup, nail polish, jewelry, and other classy things. And I will always remember the smell of her Jean Nate bath splash. I remember buying some when I was little just so I could smell like Grandma. She was always put together. She always wore lipstick. Her daughters take after her this way. A kiss from grandma always left a mark on your cheek. Even dinners at her house seemed to be a special occasion. I always remember my mom pulling out some of my nicest clothes when we were going to grandma’s house. When I went to CareSource for the first time to visit grandma in her last days with us, even one of the nurses commented that my grandmother was a “classy lady”. This was a trait about my grandma that was obvious to all that met her. I think the only time we really questioned her classiness was when it came to her driving, it was a known fact that Grandma would fly down her street in her car like a bat out of hell. But at least she would do it dressed like a lady with her lipstick on.
Grandma used words that will always stick out to many of us. She called many of us dear, but always used it in a way that seemed just right. Everything was “wonderful” and “marvelous” to grandma. And when she used those words she really meant it. She was so positive about life, and always showed great support to her grandchildren when we would update her on the newest endeavors of our lives.
Grandma loved the gospel of Jesus Christ. Megan says, I was also always impressed with her testimony of the gospel. She was never verbose about it, but the way she lived her life was an example of someone who believed and I loved that about her.” The last time I saw grandma I dropped by CareSource one morning on my way to the airport to fly home. We had moved her the day before and I somehow ended up with her Book of Mormon in my car. When I brought it in to her she told me that she had been wondering where it was, and that she still found it wonderful to pick it up and read a few versus whenever she got the chance. I know that grandma had a testimony of the gospel, and loved being a member of the Church.
Elizabeth says, “She was one of a kind. She possessed one of the best hearts, souls and spirit to love all who knew her. Everyone who met her felt a deep warmth and grace. She will always be loved and remembered by her grandchildren.”
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For my own records, this is her obituary:
Against the backdrop of World War I, Florence Mary Jensen was born on February 11, 1917.
Florence was the last survivor of eight children of Peter Joseph Jensen and Artemisia Snow Jensen. She grew up in SLC graduating from East High School. She studied at The University of Utah and then received her degree from Brigham Young University. She was independent and hard working earning her own tuition for college by working at The Grand Canyon, Sun Valley and Fort Douglas Military Base.
A true patriot, Florence had an immense desire to serve her country. During WW II she volunteered with The American Red Cross and served at an Air Force base near London. In spite of the bombings and the terror of war, she met the first real love of her life, Lieutenant William K. Goeglein. This encounter had all the makings of a war-time romance. In the midst of separation and uncertainty, they found each other again and were married in Mobile, Alabama on October 17, 1945. Florence and "Big Bill" had four children: Barbara Jane Marz (John), William K.Goeglein (Michelle), Linda Ann Christensen (Kent), James Robert Goeglein. They had nineteen beautiful years together before the untimely death of her beloved Bill Goeglein in 1965.
As a widow and mother of four, Florence lead her family forward with grace and courage. A lady of elegance and determination, Florence instinctively was devoted to her family and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Because of her passion for the arts and her training as an opera singer, her church service focused on leading the music for the congregation. She was in the church choir and was greatly appreciated for her ability to hit the high notes.
Enhancing the beauty of our world was Florence's life work. She was an active member of The Salt Lake City Garden Club; a member of The Assistance League where she sang in a group called "Act III". She was also a member for The Daughters of The Utah Pioneers. She did all this while working full time for The American Heart Association. She retired after 15 years with honors and awards.
After eight years, destiny brought Florence another Bill. Bill (Willam) Christensen whose many accomplishments included founding Ballet West. Bill Christensen and Florence met on Christmas Eve. Their first date was "The Nutcracker". Willam asked Florence to marry him that very night. She married him on June 30, 1973. Together they were passionate ambassadors for Ballet West. "Mr. C" and Florence were married for 28 years sharing times in Aspen, New York and San Francisco. They also shared their children. " Mr. C" had two children from his first marriage: Roxanne Christensen Lazzara (Tony), and Lee Christensen (Edith). Florence is survived by six children and their spouses and 17 grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Florence Mary Jensen Goeglein Christensen was a delightful complexity of strength and ultra sensitivity. She was loved by so many. Her beauty and spirit will live on forever through her children and grandchildren. She survived The Great Depression; WWII; the death of two brothers in childhood; and the death of all of her other siblings later in life. She also buried two husbands and raised four teenagers by herself. "We gave my mother a lot of trouble, but we think she enjoyed it." (Mark Twain)
"Life is eternal. Love is immortal, and death is only the horizon."
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Love you, Grandma.
Our dinner hour is usually pretty interesting, yet predictable.
Lucky for us, Nate will try at least one bite of just about anything. He knows that if he truly doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to eat it which has worked for us because he almost always ends up liking it. He may have a hard time sitting in his seat but he’ll usually eat a meal without too much fuss.
On the other hand – this little monkey will go days without eating a real meal. He usually dumps his food out, pours his drink in it, etc. Tonight he decided to dump out all of his cucumber and wear the bowl as a hat. He thinks he’s pretty funny. About once a week he will eat more than most adults in one meal and the rest of the time he just picks at his food. However, he never turns down a treat.
I love my little boy who sneaks the jar of Laffy Taffy’s first thing in the morning & hides to eat as many as his little hands can open before someone finds him back there.
We just spent the weekend in Salt Lake for my Grandma Flo’s funeral. More on the funeral to come.
We stayed with our dear friends – the Andrus’. Again. They are always so nice to let us come and take over their entire house.
We had a good time visiting and catching up with them. The kids played pretty well this trip – especially when we separated the older [Millie & Nate] from the younger [Tyler & Ryan]. They seemed to really enjoy each other! I have fond memories of visiting Salt Lake City a few times a year and every visit we spent time with my parents dear friends – Babs & Steve and their three girls. I love that Millie and Nate ask for each other in-between visits. Nate even wrote Millie love notes before we drove up there.
One of the best parts of our visit is that I got to meet the newest Andrus addition – six week old Brooks. What a sweet little baby this dude is. He never even cried the entire time we were there! He is such a sweet little man and I loved being able to cuddle with him. My boys LOVED him, too. Ryan wouldn’t leave the poor guy alone and kept saying “hold baby” over and over. They were smitten. [Don’t get any ideas. The Griffeths love other people’s babies but we’re not ready for one here!]
When we got to Salt Lake it was surprisingly warm for January. But on Saturday morning, we woke up to a fresh coat of snow and we loved it. Nate LOVES to play in the snow but by now it was freezing outside so we made a trip to Walmart and got him some snow gear so he could really play. He had a blast. Cabin – here we come! Nate’s ready.
Once again – great to see you Andrus family. You’re the best.
